inbox | eastbound

[downswing]

lan wangji
missives | encounters

Comments

[downswing]

You wish me to consider her?

[weifinder]

I'd take her as a daughter, all things considered, but Lan Zhan, if what you want is ever along those lines for anyone, I'm not the one who'll tell you no.

( he has no thoughts in his head that lan zhan wants hermione, let alone like that, but there is another point, another... tapping at whatever he's built as confidence for himself, where the cracks start to gape, where water seeps from the façade of stone.

if there is a freeing of lan zhan in having a living person who was once the wei ying he knew, and now is the wei ying he's been learning, stand at his side. if his heart will crack open, desire find new root, and lan zhan cares in such ways as he's at liberty to, for any. )

I wish all the joys you would accept for yourself to rain down upon you. You know that, don't you?

1/2

[downswing]

Wei Ying.

[downswing]

Bear me a daughter.

I accept her.

[weifinder]

I did tell her you'd want to adopt her.

Born enough?

1/2

[downswing]

Born enough.

[downswing]

You should be. The one to tell me no.

[weifinder]

Lan Zhan...

[weifinder]

( it, hm. he blinks, slow and feline, considering those words as if they were written in the familiar hand of the man who'd otherwise written them. a different sort of missive, if they were leaving letters on each other's desks, or tucked under pillows. )

[weifinder]

Do you plan...

[weifinder]

On cultivating my selfishness for your attention?

[weifinder]

Jesting aside, if you say I should, I will.

[weifinder]

Do you trust me, Lan Zhan?

[downswing]

( A neat avoidance: )

It is your right.

[weifinder]

Do you trust me?

[downswing]

I trust you.

[weifinder]

Then as one husband to another, I won't need to claim that right anymore than you will.

( what he does not want, and does not need, is more than one spouse, one lover, one head on a pillow by his own. that he does, in fact, want lan zhan there, for his own sake, is a fierce and honeyed tincture lining his stomach, warming like alcohol swallowed down, down, down.

over a year ago, he's aware now that his own wants would be pale in comparison to the understanding he has now. to the faith he's firmed in standing, and the ridiculous man who has compulsively married him on both sides of his lace woven life. )

[downswing]

You have no jealousies? No petty wants.

[weifinder]

Oh, I've got those second things. Like having you sleep in with me on a proper bed someday!

[downswing]

It is so simple?

[weifinder]

I wouldn't say people are ever simple, but our wants can be. So can our jealousies. That's just less part of my nature, and more part of yours. We balance.

[downswing]

When we return. ( Never if )

There will be more to offer you than simplicity.

[weifinder]

When we return, I'll appreciate that. Just as the simple things will still hold immense value to me.

[downswing]

I cannot sleep as you do, until the sun whips me.

[weifinder]

One overcast day we might get another half shichen out of you!